| 000; FACEBOOK. |
[23 May 2012|09:17pm] |
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( FACEBOOK )
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| 013; WHAT. |
[01 Jul 2010|08:10pm] |
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SUMMER SCHOOL???
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| 012; I Am Not Paranoid, I Just Know They're Out There. |
[27 Jun 2010|07:04pm] |
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( PRIVATE ENTRY )
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| 011; They should Just Call It Homoccer. |
[21 Jun 2010|11:24am] |
Okay, so. I think it is Super Awesome that Blah Blah Soccer Is Opening Borders, and We're All In This Together like in that movie with that guy who kind of looks like an orange robot (Not the one who only Looks Like A Man but was actually kind of really on drugs all the time and made one good movie about High School then went on Crack, but the other one), but Oh My Gosh How Can You Watch This.
I am trying, okay? But this is the Lamest Sport Ever and I have to live with A Dweeb who thinks that Reading The Dictionary A Gagillion Times Should Get You A Letterman Jacket. Come On, okay? This is like watching a bunch of hyped up dramatic toddlers fling themselves on the ground as dramatically as possible just so the weirdo referree (Who is always Really Creepy, jeez. I mean, has someone actually Checked In on the rules regarding Kiddie Sex Offenders in the Soccer Referee League, because someone might want to look at that.) can give out a Million Yellow Cards for Who Dramatasized A Paper Cut The Best. So. Not. Cool.
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| 010; It's About Individualism, Okay? |
[09 Jun 2010|10:18am] |
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| 009; A Little Hypothetical. |
[29 May 2010|12:55pm] |
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Soooo. If you hypothetically had a hypothetical hamster that hypothetically was at the back of your hypothetical classroom and you hypothetically only really hypothetically looked at it when every year you hypothetically gave freshmen the hypothetical hamster living creatures assignment, but you'd had this hypothetical hamster for a gagillion years, would you hypothetically notice if your hypothetical hamster was replaced by another hypothetical hamster that was almost identical except for a hypothetical black spot over its eye.
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| 008; But Seriously, Okay? |
[25 May 2010|08:06am] |
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Oh My Gosh Stranded.
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| 007; Britney Carmichael Go Diaf. |
[20 May 2010|07:32pm] |
I cannot Wait until I don't have to go to this Stupid School anymore. People who say that "High School Was The Best Time Of Their Life" are either just Dumb, Peaked In High School, Insane, Or All Of The Above. Because if I have to listen to Britney Carmichael Go On about how Heathcliff Is The Hottest Guy Ever and how Men Today Need To Learn From Jane Austen Novels I am so going to Scream. Oh My Gosh, I don't care. Like, I think I have fallen asleep Three Times in this Stupid Class and She Won't Stop Talking. And Everyone Knows she's just spouting This Lame-Grade Junk Off because she broke up with Weston Hughes last night and now she's Trying To Make Him Jealous or something else Really Dumb.
Personally, I hope she does meet her Heathcliff. So he can Push Her Off The Moors Of Yorkshire.
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| 006; This Is Not 1984, Oh My Gosh. |
[16 May 2010|03:44pm] |
You Know This Is So Not Okay, I Read Some Orwell And He Would Not Have Been Down With This Oh My Gosh
Mabey If Everyone Stopped Yelling Policemen Could Do Their Jobs
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| 005; Gym Class Is An Oxymoron. |
[08 May 2010|07:28pm] |
[The camera sweeps across the McCarthy family den before Bridget's iHolo is perched on top of a precarious pile of unorganized Blu-Rays -- the picture finally focusing in on the girl as she sits cross legged on the couch.]
Oh My Gosh, some of us have More Important Things To Worry About than Masked Vigilantes. Like, hello: Gym Class. Not that it can even be called a Class, but apparently naming it Everyone Get Together And Smell Each Other's Armpits wasn't an Option. No, really. How can you get Graded on your Lack Of ability To Be A Butch Jock? What. The. Heck. Like that's even fair. The only people who can do Gym Class are Athletic Freaks who were born without Any Side Of A Brain, okay?
[Her voice grows increasingly louder, and her frown deepens.]
The rest of us just get Pushed Around By Stupid Dumb-Butt Hyperactive Pubescent Gir--
[The sound of muffled footsteps is heard outside the room, and Bridget abruptly halts mid-rant.]
Oh My Gosh, Mom, I'm doing my homework! Do you want me to Fail? Is that It? I know it's late, okay? But I want to finish my Extra Credit work, Jeez Louise. Are you trying to--
[She pauses, and her voice drops down to a whisper.]
Okay, I think she's Gone. But, Freaking A. Separation of Church and State? Um, no. That should be Separation Of School and Athletics. As long as, like, I'm not Obese or anything, I shouldn't have to do this Stupid Stuff, Oh My Gosh.
Also, okay? I don't think it's The Bomb turning anyone Homosexual. I think it's Batman. Jeez.
There's a fumbling as a scowling Bridget reaches for the remote, switching on the television before reaching over to shut off the iHolo video.
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| 005; A Public Service Announcement. |
[27 Apr 2010|05:06pm] |
Oh My Gosh, Whatever Trevor. It's my Birthday in Three Days!!!!!!!
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| 004; Oh. Em. Gee. One. One. Exclamation Point. One. |
[15 Apr 2010|04:09pm] |
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Oh My Gosh If I Don't See World War Z I Will Die.
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| 003; Welcome To The Island Of Lesbos. |
[06 Apr 2010|07:41pm] |
Oh My Gosh, so I'm in Stupid German Class today (Seriously? German? What. Is. That. Am I getting invaded by Germany? Um, okay, no! Because they tried that twice, and fool me once, Shame On You, fool me twice, I Can't Remember The Rest Of The Saying But It's My Fault. So why do I have to take German for a semester? What. Is. That. Okay? I have no plans of going to Germany. German food is Gross With A Capital G. And it is like, the Campest Language Ever. Seriously, okay? I sound like, I don't know, one of those Eunuchks, that totes sung Really High before it was illegal to cut off Someone's Balls and they had to go to the barber shop and the barber would, like "Make A Mistake" and chop off your Balls. That's What It Sounds Like.) and Herr Dietlinde is like, "Bridget, what's that on your hemd?" and I look down, and I totes have this Fairly Respectable shirt on and I'm so just Minding My Own Business, and I'm just, "Herr Dietlinde, it says Island Of Lesbos," and okay, so I've got my jacket Over The Rude Part at the back so like, what you can see is Really Not That Bad, but then he makes me take off my jacket and tells me to see the School Secretary.
I had to wear a Gross-As Shirt from the Lost and Found All Day. So. Not. On. Island of Lesbos is like, a legitimate place, okay? And I even made sure to wear my jacket so like, I wouldn't offend anyone. I am in Freaking 1984.
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| 002; It's Not Cheating If You Don't Look It Up. |
[31 Mar 2010|02:54pm] |
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Italian wine, 7 letters.
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| 001; Griping On Your Blog Is Totally Legit In Spanish Class. |
[26 Mar 2010|11:30pm] |
Oh My Gosh. This is So Ridiculousity, Oh My Gosh. No, but really, okay? Who really assigns a four page paper On A Friday. Due for Monday. Do you know what that is? That is Communism. And not actual Communism as a legitimate political stream of thought, but so Lame it could be considered the Opposite Of Freedom so it is Ironic Communism. Communism parading in a Che Guevera shirt. And listening to Oh My Gosh I Don't Know, some band that no one has heard of not because they're awesome. But because they suck, Stupid. This paper is so Lame it is Ironunism. So. Not. Okay.
And, Oh My Gosh. Some of us had plans this weekend, okay? Not all of us can sit around hating our job just because they Failed as an adult and therefore have to turn to teaching to punish themselves through their students. And, really? Agamogenesis? I. Get. It. I don't have to write some Jerk-Wad BullDust paper on how some animals can only Get It Up For Themselves just so I can forget this knowledge in Three Years at College. So. Will. Never. Ever. Matter. In. My. Life. Like, does Bruce Willis ever turn around to Typecast Villain Number Twenty-Four and go "hey, I know that normall I agonize between the Red and Blue wire. But, really. Let's get down to the more important issues here. Give me a test on the differences between Binary Fission and Budding." Come. On.
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